Invictus

Invictus

By William Ernest Henley

“Out of the night that covers me,   
  Black as the Pit from pole to pole,   
I thank whatever gods may be   
  For my unconquerable soul.   

In the fell clutch of circumstance 
  I have not winced nor cried aloud.   
Under the bludgeonings of chance   
  My head is bloody, but unbowed.   

Beyond this place of wrath and tears   
  Looms but the Horror of the shade, 
And yet the menace of the years   
  Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.   

It matters not how strait the gate,   
  How charged with punishments the scroll,   
I am the master of my fate:
  I am the captain of my soul.”

When I was locked up in Riker's Island years ago, I read Nelson Mandela’s autobiography. One quote from his gripping, incredible story—a lawyer who was incarcerated for 27 years and then became president of South Africa, my birth country—stood out to me: “In order to truly know the people of a country, you need to know those imprisoned.” Over the years of being incarcerated on both the East and West Coasts of the United States, the wisdom behind this quote became increasingly apparent as I met hundreds, possibly thousands, of individuals: criminals, convicts, parole violators, burglars, murderers, drug dealers, violent offenders, drunk drivers—you name it.

Learning that there are 2.3 million people in prison in America and witnessing the revolving door of the system, I became appreciative of those who took the initiative to succeed after their prison term. Before surrendering to prison in New York after losing my trial, I made an effort to meet those who had done time but hadn’t let the time do them in. Their spirits remained unbroken by incarceration.

I read countless stories, from famous rappers such as 50 Cent and Lil Wayne to political prisoners like Nelson Mandela and Malcolm X. I also met several individuals who had done recent terms and were now more than back on their feet. I met Jonathan, who did 16 months in federal prison and is now a guest lecturer on ethics at various universities. I encountered guys who started successful contracting businesses and others making $250,000 annually from day trading. I had lunch with almost-famous ex-cons, like Michael Santos, who served 26 years for cocaine sales and shared his story with me before I read his book, Earning Freedom.

One of the most impactful encounters was meeting Wesley Watson, who now has a very successful coaching business and YouTube channel. I asked Wes how to be successful both in and out of prison. His answer surprised me. He said, “Who you are on the outside is going to be amplified on the inside (inside prison).” He explained that if you’re an addict, you’ll become more of a fiend; if you’re a gambler, you’ll become more of one; if you’re violent, you’ll become more violent. He noted that I was fortunate to have the insight to prepare and seek advice before going in, but that I should give myself a gut check and figure out who I am before entering prison. He warned that if I didn’t like who I was going in, it would be much harder to like the person who comes out.

I did that gut check, and I recommend you do it too. You don’t have to be going to prison to assess who you are. We all face tough times, and we don’t have to wait for those hard moments to evaluate ourselves. We are the captains of our own ships, and if we’re happy with the direction we’re sailing, we can endure even if that direction takes us through a storm.