Joy and Suffering

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There’s a widespread misconception that joy and suffering are mutually exclusive—that we experience happiness in one moment and pain in another, and that the two cannot coexist. I’m here to challenge that belief. In fact, joy and suffering are deeply intertwined, and understanding this truth can transform how we approach life.

Life is Suffering—But That’s Not All It Is


The reality is, life is full of suffering. This isn’t a pessimistic view; it’s a universal truth. Growth and pain are inseparable. A seed must struggle to break through the soil to sprout its first buds. A caterpillar endures the hardship of transforming into a butterfly. A mother endures labor pains to bring new life into the world. Growth always requires some level of discomfort.


Even as we age—when the body begins its decline—we still experience profound joy. Yes, the knees ache, the eyesight dims, and the body slows, but there are moments of beauty: laughing with grandchildren, dancing at family celebrations, or enjoying the company of friends. The joy of life exists because of the suffering, not despite it.


The Illusion of Escaping Suffering


Before my incarceration, I spent a lot of time trying to escape suffering. I thought life was about eliminating pain—the stress of paying bills, the challenges of building a business, or the difficulties of being a good son, husband, and father. I fought against the suffering of discipline: denying myself comfort food, lifting heavy weights, and striving for physical health. I believed life would be better if I could just rid myself of the pain.


But here’s the lesson I’ve learned through prison: suffering isn’t something to eliminate. It’s something to embrace.


There may be moments when the load feels lighter, but the struggle never fully disappears. And that’s okay. Life doesn’t get easier; we get stronger. The suffering doesn’t diminish; we simply learn how to endure it better. And in that endurance, we find meaning.


Embracing Suffering as a Path to Growth


I used to ask for life to be easier. Now, I ask to be better. That shift has been life-changing.


Suffering isn’t an obstacle to joy—it’s a partner to it. When you embrace the challenges, you unlock growth and resilience. You stop wishing for an easy path and start appreciating the strength you gain by walking the difficult one.


For example, losing a job might lead to the dream of starting your own business. Health challenges might awaken a newfound gratitude for life’s small pleasures. Even inherited wealth, often seen as a path to ease, comes with its own unique struggles—questions of self-worth, identity, and the burden of expectations.


Joy and Suffering


This blog isn’t about choosing between joy and suffering—it’s about recognizing that they coexist. My last few years have been some of the darkest, depressing and most difficult times of my life. Yet, even in the depths of suffering, I’ve found so many moments of joy, happiness, and growth.


The suffering doesn’t negate the joy, and the joy doesn’t erase the suffering. Instead, they shape each other. The beauty of life lies not in the absence of pain but in our ability to find meaning, purpose, and happiness through it.


So, I invite you to stop asking for life to be easy. Instead, ask to be better. Embrace the suffering, for it will make you stronger. And as you grow, you’ll realize that the pain isn’t the enemy—it’s the catalyst for everything beautiful you’ve become.

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